Fucking Cubs

I'm a die hard Cubs fan. Been one my whole life. But these fuckers couldn't beat Michael J. Fox in a staring contest.

How many times can you come this close to winning and not close the deal? Reminds me of the time I was nominated for an Emmy in 2000 and I lost to Jack fucking Lemmon who won for Tuesdays with Morrie. I'm break my ass giving the performance of a lifetime as Willie Loman and on the way to the Awards Show I'm clearing space in the Kia, because I know I'll be totin' the statue on the way home. Two hours later and Jack wins for playing some professor who is dying from drinking a cup of AIDS or Lou Gehrig's Disease or something. Tuesdays with Blow Job. Un-fucking-real.



Anyway, last night right before the game I'm pounding 18 year old ass like it's going out of style. I got a set of beef curtains layin on my chin that look like they just came out of the Boar's Head factory. As I'm crushing poon I hear the TV in the other room and the Cubbies are down in the first inning. Can you at least have the decency to let me have target practice on this girl's Hello Kitty hair clip before you blow the game? Holy shit.